Be careful with what you ask for… You might get it!

And I asked for company. I asked for someone who could help me and ease the process of purging J from my blood stream. But I probably failed miserably in defining exactly what I was looking for, because now I find myself in trouble. Some would just love to be in this kind of trouble, I know. But though I can see some good in it, I am not happy at all.

This is what’s happening: I met this girl in Bangkok and it was almost like love at first sight (not exactly just because I have made a promise to myself not to fall for things too easily... But, back to the girl) I saw her sitting there and felt attracted immediately. I went to sit beside her and try to small talk, you know, the usual thing. And, well, she did not seem very impressed nor interested. I was about to give up when her sister showed up. And it was a totally different story.

Her younger sister, Tok, was fun, talkative, very sweet and got interested in me. The original girl, Prang (here we go with the Pokemon names again) was drinking too much, smoking too much and not talkative at all. Maybe she was upset about something, who could tell? I ended up giving more attention to Tok and that might have triggered something in Prang because the next time we met, she was upset with me for being with Tok! Now I have the sisters fighting over me. Prang saying she liked me but when we met she was half drunk and not feeling well. Her sister, says she is jealous and an opportunist, trying to ‘steal’ me because I am a nice guy.

They both call me, they both say they like me and they both get upset if I do not call. As I said, some would say “Wow! This guy is really good and I wish I was in his shoes!”. How come I am not happy about the whole thing?

Do you really want to know what I feel? Honestly? I think Tok likes me. Really. Prang doesn’t. But Tok is too shy, too sweet, too naïve. She looks at me with loving eyes. She cares, she leans on me, she caresses me. And yet I still like Prang. Why? Because Prang is the “bad girl” type. When she looks at me her eyes say “I’m going to f@$k you silly!”. Bottom line is, she reminds me of J. I know that, given the chance, she would break my heart just like J did. But I cannot avoid being attracted to her.

And I do not want to break Tok’s heart either. So what did I decide to do? I gave up on both. Tok probably could be a good wife. Prang probably could be a great lover. I cannot have both. And I am looking for both things in one person only. So, I am moving on… Again… Alone… Still…