“Protect me from what I want” (Sleeping with Ghosts, Placebo)

Time passes by… It’s been six months since she left. Three months since I last saw her. I met new girls, I had fun, and I kept trying to move on, live a normal life, take my time and re-start. Why does it have to be so hard, though? Is it hard to everyone or am I weaker than the rest. Or was this love stronger than the average? Is there such thing? “Strong” or “weak” or “average” love?

The fact is, I still miss her. And lately, after the incident with the Thai sisters, I have really been thinking about how difficult it is to start over. And to find the right girl. To find what I am looking for. What I call the good “bad girl”. I am sure she’s out there, but where? How do I find her? Am I doing something wrong or have I just forgotten how to play the “waiting” game?

I wonder if she is happy. If she thinks of me. And I know this feeling. I am about to call and ask if she wants to give it another try. Is there any chance things might have changed in six months? A little hard to believe, isn’t it? I’d say so…

What should I do? WHAT? And then Gibarian repeats to me in my sleep: No answer, only choices…