Sometimes I wish I knew what really goes on inside certain companies...
I understand one cannot be the "best" forever but some companies just go from "crème de la crème" to worthless in no time at all!
Sometimes it is because the company gets accquired by a bigger company, its products abandoned or not cared for until they slowly fade away. Sometimes the new company thinks they 'know too well' how to handle the recently accquired products ("Oh, yeah! Let's make this better!!!") and realize too late they were too wrong.
I guess this was the case with USRobotics, which used to produce the most inovative and reliable modems at its time and simply vanished after being bought over by 3Com.
But, what happens when a company just allows their products and customer base go down the drain? I wish I knew!
Linksys used to be so damned good! There was a time I would not think twice before recommending their products to anyone who asked. Sadly, that is not the case anymore...
My old faithful router was sent to router's heaven after a thunderstorm and, devoted to Linksys like I had been for such a long time, I started searching for a new, more advanced replacement. I ended up with a WAG54G2. Not for long, though.
First, the bloody thing looks like someone ran over an old router with a truck and instead of breaking it, just squashed it enough to make it look... different. It might look good and modern to you but, to me, it just doesn't look right.
The design itself causes a bigger issue: it gets too hot. Seriously! So hot I started having problems with it. What problems, you ask. Well, I noticed there were frequent disconnections while using it (which, for me, is all the time). I thought I ought to upgrade the firmware or something but Google-ing it a bit I found out I was not the only one having problems with disconnections. The stated reason? You guessed it: the damn router gets too hot and stops working.
Perhaps I would not have noticed the problem had I installed it in my previous apartment. I used to have a small room I used to call my 'office' and where I kept all my computers. There, the air-conditioner was always on. It was niiiice. In my new home, I get a nicer office space. Big, spacious, ample office. Gosh, I love it! Unfortunately, having such a big office also means 24/7 AirCon becomes prohibitive.
With no other viable solution to my problem, I replaced the Linksys with a D-Link and must say I am very happy, thank you very much.
I would be willing to forbear my disappointment with Linksys had it not been for other problems I had with the brand.
For example: my wireless sound bridge (WMB54G) doesn't play along with other operating systems. If I elect not to have a Windows machine at home (which is my plan), I simply can't use it. There are no known drivers for Linux or Mac.
My Print Server (WPS54GU2) does not support WPA. I am forced to WEP security for the entire network. Not that I really worry about security - in my neighbourhood everybody's got the same broadband provider and speed, noone has the time/inclination/need to try hacking on neighbour's WANs - but "why oh why" won't Linksys keep up with other vendors and provide the stupid security option everyone else does?!
I got tired of searching for solutions for Linksys problems. So that's was it. Linksys is now officially shunned from my home and my customers will definitely be buying other brands if it depends on me.
Sayonara, Linksys!
Friday, 22 January 2010
Friday, 27 February 2009
Too good not to share...
Not my own experience but I was laughing so hard I just had to pass it on.
Read and enjoy.
Taser
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol and Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…(?) WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water; any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference - pretty cute really - and loaded with two itsy, bitsy Triple-A batteries, thinking to myself: ‘no possible way!’
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…
I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say “don’t do it dip shit”, reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ol’ thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and… HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! WHAT THE HELL!!!
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and ting ling in my legs.
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative!
THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
--
‘If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.’
From http://www.seedmore.org/?p=390
Read and enjoy.
Taser
Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol and Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety…(?) WAY TOO COOL!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would
purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water; any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference - pretty cute really - and loaded with two itsy, bitsy Triple-A batteries, thinking to myself: ‘no possible way!’
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best…
I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say “don’t do it dip shit”, reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ol’ thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and… HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION! WHAT THE HELL!!!
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and ting ling in my legs.
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative!
THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I’m still looking for my nuts and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P.S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
--
‘If you think education is difficult, try being stupid.’
From http://www.seedmore.org/?p=390
Sunday, 8 February 2009
On Being Useful... Or not!
“Let me see if I can make this real clear for you: If this hospital were a human body, you'd be the appendix because at one time you served some function but it was so long ago nobody's quite sure what that was anymore”
-- Dr. Cox to Dr. Kelso, Scrubs S05E05.
-- Dr. Cox to Dr. Kelso, Scrubs S05E05.
Monday, 2 February 2009
FYI...
So you know:
Thanks, Dr. Goodword.
- Sarcasm implies a derision explicitly intended to hurt or offend someone.
- Sardonicism implies a cynical derision expressed either verbally or facially with no necessary intent to offend or cause emotional distress.
- Irony comes from an amusingly provocative disparity between any two seemingly incompatible things, expressed to amuse rather than to offend.
Thanks, Dr. Goodword.
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Monday, 22 December 2008
Thought of the moment
So much to say; so little time... I've been dying to post but it's been complicated. What to do?
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
The Wolf And The Lamb
“A lamb was quenching its thirst
In the water of a pure stream.
A fasting wolf came by, looking for something;
He was attracted by hunger to this place.
—What makes you so bold as to meddle with my drinking?
Said this animal, very angry.
You will be punished for your boldness.
—Sir, answered the lamb, let Your Majesty
Not put himself into a rage;
But rather, let him consider
That I am taking a drink of water
In the stream
More than twenty steps below him;
And that, consequently, in no way,
Am I troubling his supply.
—You do trouble it, answered the cruel beast.
And I know you said bad things of me last year.
—How could I do that when I wasn't born,
Answered the lamb; I am still at my mother's breast.
—If it wasn't you, then it was your brother.
—I haven't a brother.
—It was then someone close to you;
For you have no sympathy for me,
You, your shepherds and your dogs.
I have been told of this. I have to make things even.
I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations.”
by Jean de La Fontaine
--
Surprisingly, this particular K9 now finds himself playing the Lamb's role...
In the water of a pure stream.
A fasting wolf came by, looking for something;
He was attracted by hunger to this place.
—What makes you so bold as to meddle with my drinking?
Said this animal, very angry.
You will be punished for your boldness.
—Sir, answered the lamb, let Your Majesty
Not put himself into a rage;
But rather, let him consider
That I am taking a drink of water
In the stream
More than twenty steps below him;
And that, consequently, in no way,
Am I troubling his supply.
—You do trouble it, answered the cruel beast.
And I know you said bad things of me last year.
—How could I do that when I wasn't born,
Answered the lamb; I am still at my mother's breast.
—If it wasn't you, then it was your brother.
—I haven't a brother.
—It was then someone close to you;
For you have no sympathy for me,
You, your shepherds and your dogs.
I have been told of this. I have to make things even.
I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations.”
by Jean de La Fontaine
--
Surprisingly, this particular K9 now finds himself playing the Lamb's role...
Saturday, 13 December 2008
SMS, yes! Do we have a problem?
I use sms all the time. Actually, most of the time, I would rather send a text message than call someone.
Some people say it's an ineffective way to communicate and depending on the circumstance, it would be more expensive than actually calling. Well... Yes; maybe. As I said, ‘depending’ on the circumstances.
You see, SMSs are discreet (unless of course you have Wagner's ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ set as a ring tone!); in a meeting it would not be appropriate to answer a call and disrupt the work being done but one single beep can be forgiven and it won't take the recipient much time to check what's going on. They are also unintrusive, giving the recipient the choice to reply immediately or at his/her own convenience.
Its limited size somewhat forces you to organize your thoughts before you hit the send button; you usually strive to convey as much information as needed while remaining concise. Fine, you could argue that can also be achieved with a phone call but it's still not the same. Here's an example:
- Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Yo, my man! I'm cool. Howdy?
- Chilling, man... Just chilling. Listen up. The boys and I are going to watch the game at Fred's house next Monday. Why don't you show up?
- Next Monday... Hmmm... I am not sure, dude. It will depend on my girl being in town. You know she's been traveling and stuff.
- Not an issue, brotha! Bring the girl along if you want. Fred's wife will be there.
- Ok. That could work, then. But I will check and let you know.
- Sure, dude. No probs. Talk to you on Sunday. See ya.
- See ya, bro.
- Hey, wait, wait, wait... I forgot to mention. Bring some beers, eh? We're all bringing some stuff to munch and drink.
- Sure thing. Will do. Bye.
- Bye.
Now, that is not a very long call, right? Maybe it would take a minute? A minute and a half? But if the fellow is on a meeting or doing whatever-it-is-the-fellow-does-when-he-cannot-answer such call, it would be like this:
- Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Bro, sorry but I can't talk right now.
- No, it's ok. It's pretty quick. The boys and I are going to watch...
- Mate, let me call you back. I'm in a meeting right now.
- Ok. It's about the game on Monday.
- I'll call you back.
- Ok. Bye.
- Bye.
Faster, sure. But you just put the guy in an uncomfortable situation. Maybe his boss is looking funny at him right now. Maybe his customer is upset his attention is not on what's being discussed even if there is nothing much going on other than Jill babbling about next years plans for refurnishing the office or whatever.
Let's try with an SMS, shall we?
‘The gang & I will watch the game at Fred's. Monday, 7pm. Bring beer. It's OK to bring your girl. Cheers.’
Fast, easy, succinct. Provides all the information needed and give him the choice to reply with a simple "OK" or call later for details. I guess you get the point.
And now, with Twitter, a whole bunch of nice cool web apps is using SMS in a very professional and creative way. Myself, I found Xpenser and started being able to reimburse all those small expenses I never remember to submit because a receipt is not provided and I can't remember the amount. It's a beautiful solution and it's free! I get out of the taxi, I SMS Xpenser. I pay lunch to my team. I get the receipt and SMS Xpenser. Sent money to my kid? SMS his mom and Xpenser. It works! End of the month, I just login to the site, export my expenses and submit!
I have been working like a horse. Do people notice? Perhaps yes, maybe no. Do I remember? Gee, I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday, do you really think I will remember how many hours I worked lat month? In comes Keeptempo. One sms when I get to the office. One when I leave. And... That's it! I know exactly what I have been doing.
Meeting tomorrow? Hold on, I will SMS 30 Boxes. Or my Google Calendar!
I like SMS. I would rather SMS than call. And you can SMS me any time. I do not have Wagner's ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ set as a ring tone!
Some people say it's an ineffective way to communicate and depending on the circumstance, it would be more expensive than actually calling. Well... Yes; maybe. As I said, ‘depending’ on the circumstances.
You see, SMSs are discreet (unless of course you have Wagner's ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ set as a ring tone!); in a meeting it would not be appropriate to answer a call and disrupt the work being done but one single beep can be forgiven and it won't take the recipient much time to check what's going on. They are also unintrusive, giving the recipient the choice to reply immediately or at his/her own convenience.
Its limited size somewhat forces you to organize your thoughts before you hit the send button; you usually strive to convey as much information as needed while remaining concise. Fine, you could argue that can also be achieved with a phone call but it's still not the same. Here's an example:
- Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Yo, my man! I'm cool. Howdy?
- Chilling, man... Just chilling. Listen up. The boys and I are going to watch the game at Fred's house next Monday. Why don't you show up?
- Next Monday... Hmmm... I am not sure, dude. It will depend on my girl being in town. You know she's been traveling and stuff.
- Not an issue, brotha! Bring the girl along if you want. Fred's wife will be there.
- Ok. That could work, then. But I will check and let you know.
- Sure, dude. No probs. Talk to you on Sunday. See ya.
- See ya, bro.
- Hey, wait, wait, wait... I forgot to mention. Bring some beers, eh? We're all bringing some stuff to munch and drink.
- Sure thing. Will do. Bye.
- Bye.
Now, that is not a very long call, right? Maybe it would take a minute? A minute and a half? But if the fellow is on a meeting or doing whatever-it-is-the-fellow-does-when-he-cannot-answer such call, it would be like this:
- Hello, mate. How are ya?
- Bro, sorry but I can't talk right now.
- No, it's ok. It's pretty quick. The boys and I are going to watch...
- Mate, let me call you back. I'm in a meeting right now.
- Ok. It's about the game on Monday.
- I'll call you back.
- Ok. Bye.
- Bye.
Faster, sure. But you just put the guy in an uncomfortable situation. Maybe his boss is looking funny at him right now. Maybe his customer is upset his attention is not on what's being discussed even if there is nothing much going on other than Jill babbling about next years plans for refurnishing the office or whatever.
Let's try with an SMS, shall we?
‘The gang & I will watch the game at Fred's. Monday, 7pm. Bring beer. It's OK to bring your girl. Cheers.’
Fast, easy, succinct. Provides all the information needed and give him the choice to reply with a simple "OK" or call later for details. I guess you get the point.
And now, with Twitter, a whole bunch of nice cool web apps is using SMS in a very professional and creative way. Myself, I found Xpenser and started being able to reimburse all those small expenses I never remember to submit because a receipt is not provided and I can't remember the amount. It's a beautiful solution and it's free! I get out of the taxi, I SMS Xpenser. I pay lunch to my team. I get the receipt and SMS Xpenser. Sent money to my kid? SMS his mom and Xpenser. It works! End of the month, I just login to the site, export my expenses and submit!
I have been working like a horse. Do people notice? Perhaps yes, maybe no. Do I remember? Gee, I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday, do you really think I will remember how many hours I worked lat month? In comes Keeptempo. One sms when I get to the office. One when I leave. And... That's it! I know exactly what I have been doing.
Meeting tomorrow? Hold on, I will SMS 30 Boxes. Or my Google Calendar!
I like SMS. I would rather SMS than call. And you can SMS me any time. I do not have Wagner's ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ set as a ring tone!
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Too good not to share...
Obama's Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy
In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS's 60 Minutes on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a president who speaks English as if it were his first language.
"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate -- we get it, stop showing off."
The president-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.
"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com.
Sunday, 2 November 2008
Thursday, 12 April 2007
Society
"Can you imagine how liberating it would be to live a life free of all the mind-numbing social niceties?"
-- Gregory House (House M.D. - Third season, Episode 3).
-- Gregory House (House M.D. - Third season, Episode 3).
Friday, 30 March 2007
Pearls of Wisdom
No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined. -- Joan Rivers
Friday, 13 October 2006
When Love and Sadness walk hand in hand
"Though I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. [...] Love is long suffering, love is kind, it does not envy, love does not brag, it has no pride; It is not rude, it is not selfish, it is not quickly made angry, it is not resentful; It does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things; Love never ends." -- The Holy Bible, Corinthians 13.
- -
"Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process, he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk proceeded to save the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, 'Friend, why do you continue to help the scorpion when you know it is in its nature to sting?' 'Because,' the monk replied, 'it is in my nature to help.'" -- Unknown author
- -
I had written at least 6 update posts for my blog but lost them all when my trusted PDA ran out of batteries. All the latest news in my life were discussed, from my moving to Thailand to the visit of an incredible Finnish women. Post on love, Internet dating, sex, lies and videotapes. All lost... Such a pity. I wrote them while on my way to Brazil for vacations. Vacations that are already over and made me miss my home, my friends, my life in SE Asia. I am not home yet but it should take just a few more days.
I should write about all those lost posts and updates but since I left Brazil, a weight is pressing my chest and seems it won't be lifted until I voice out (o rather, type) the sadness I feel.
As one might have guessed by my two introductory text fragments, it has to do with love and helping others. How I wish love was a feeling attached to a device that you could easily switch off. True love is not like that, unfortunately. And it hurts so much when you see your loved ones digging their own graves. It hurts so much when all you do help means little or nothing, helps little or nothing, changes little or nothing. It hurts so much to know sooner or later you will be contacted with the worst possible news; news of death or permanent disability caused by a stroke or some terrible illness. It hurts even more that the cause of all this is the irresponsible behaviour of yet another loved one, someone you once thought could shine. Someone you dedicated your life to and now tells you bluntly: "you never did anything for me".
Remember The Butterfly Effect? Now I find myself thinking about that movie and wishing I had never met J and her family. Why? Because I love them. Loving them is not 'per se' a problem, of course. The problem, which causes me so much pain, is the realization I just can't help them avoid the tragic fate being written for them as I type. A fate that has been in writing for a long time. Since before I first met that cute insecure girl who used to bite her nails till they bled and with whom I once fell in love.
They had problems then. They had problems throughout my relationship with J. They had problems after we broke up and when I though their problems would - if not end, at least - attenuate, more problems, worst problems, keep happening. It is almost like a curse! Some one must have cursed that poor family because they never seem to get out of the difficulties they face. And they all seem oblivious to the inevitable consequences of their actions, incautiously accelerating towards the edge of the abysm that will take them apart, thrilled by the speed without noticing the surely fatal outcome of the ride.
They are lost. All of them. If only they could see what I see. If only I could show them the future. If only they would listen. If only they stopped, changed course, started helping each other instead of destroying the little that is left of the family... But no. They will not change. They never did, they never will. And the prospect of their future sadden me terribly.
I can't say how many tears I cried for them since I left Brazil but I know I have cried a lot. Even thinking about them, writing about their situation makes my eyes watery. The pain is so much I just wish I could erase them all from my mind, from my heart, from my life - just so the pain would stop and never have existed. I told myself I would avoid them, hence avoid my suffering (what the eyes can't see, the heart won't feel - as we say in my country) but love prevents me from turning my back on them.
What do you do when a loved one gets involved with drugs? What do you do when you try to talk him/her out of it and he/she won't listen? Do you desert him/her? Turn your back on him/her when he/she needs you most, even if he/she does not realise he/she does at that particular moment? How do you show someone he/she is in crash course when he/she thinks he/she is ok and you should mind your own business? How do you make this person see he/she is not ok. That he/she is creating problems for himself/herself and the others members of the family. That he/she is wasting his/her life?
How do you tell a sick person they are going to die and make them believe you when all they do is say 'I know, I know' and continue doing the same things that are killing them? Picture yourself in such situation: What would you do if the doctor told your mom she has diabetes and she keeps stuffing her face with sweets and cakes behind your back? How do you handle this? Do you let her find her death? Do you argue with her endlessly without result? Do you forbid and monitor? And how can you monitor if you are not there all the time? And how can you forbid her if she refuses to oblige and resents your trying to assist?
How do you make a child understand that, at 9 years old and being only 1.35m tall it is not normal to weight 55kg. How do you make this kid understand junk food, sweets and tons of carbohydrates are not good for her? How do you make them interested in sports and social activities that could, perhaps, take her mind away from her usual glutony habits? How can you do this if the example set by the mother does not help?
Problems do not stop there. There is a lot more saddening me. As I said, I really wanted to be able to forget about it and ignore. It's their lives after all and just like J said: It's none of my business and I can't show up once every four years and try to fix things they do not deem needs fixing. I wish I could forget. But I love them... And all I can do is watch them crash and burn, preparing myself to be available to collect what is left of the wreckage when it is all over.
- -
"Two monks were washing their bowls in the river when they noticed a scorpion that was drowning. One monk immediately scooped it up and set it upon the bank. In the process, he was stung. He went back to washing his bowl and again the scorpion fell in. The monk proceeded to save the scorpion and was again stung. The other monk asked him, 'Friend, why do you continue to help the scorpion when you know it is in its nature to sting?' 'Because,' the monk replied, 'it is in my nature to help.'" -- Unknown author
- -
I had written at least 6 update posts for my blog but lost them all when my trusted PDA ran out of batteries. All the latest news in my life were discussed, from my moving to Thailand to the visit of an incredible Finnish women. Post on love, Internet dating, sex, lies and videotapes. All lost... Such a pity. I wrote them while on my way to Brazil for vacations. Vacations that are already over and made me miss my home, my friends, my life in SE Asia. I am not home yet but it should take just a few more days.
I should write about all those lost posts and updates but since I left Brazil, a weight is pressing my chest and seems it won't be lifted until I voice out (o rather, type) the sadness I feel.
As one might have guessed by my two introductory text fragments, it has to do with love and helping others. How I wish love was a feeling attached to a device that you could easily switch off. True love is not like that, unfortunately. And it hurts so much when you see your loved ones digging their own graves. It hurts so much when all you do help means little or nothing, helps little or nothing, changes little or nothing. It hurts so much to know sooner or later you will be contacted with the worst possible news; news of death or permanent disability caused by a stroke or some terrible illness. It hurts even more that the cause of all this is the irresponsible behaviour of yet another loved one, someone you once thought could shine. Someone you dedicated your life to and now tells you bluntly: "you never did anything for me".
Remember The Butterfly Effect? Now I find myself thinking about that movie and wishing I had never met J and her family. Why? Because I love them. Loving them is not 'per se' a problem, of course. The problem, which causes me so much pain, is the realization I just can't help them avoid the tragic fate being written for them as I type. A fate that has been in writing for a long time. Since before I first met that cute insecure girl who used to bite her nails till they bled and with whom I once fell in love.
They had problems then. They had problems throughout my relationship with J. They had problems after we broke up and when I though their problems would - if not end, at least - attenuate, more problems, worst problems, keep happening. It is almost like a curse! Some one must have cursed that poor family because they never seem to get out of the difficulties they face. And they all seem oblivious to the inevitable consequences of their actions, incautiously accelerating towards the edge of the abysm that will take them apart, thrilled by the speed without noticing the surely fatal outcome of the ride.
They are lost. All of them. If only they could see what I see. If only I could show them the future. If only they would listen. If only they stopped, changed course, started helping each other instead of destroying the little that is left of the family... But no. They will not change. They never did, they never will. And the prospect of their future sadden me terribly.
I can't say how many tears I cried for them since I left Brazil but I know I have cried a lot. Even thinking about them, writing about their situation makes my eyes watery. The pain is so much I just wish I could erase them all from my mind, from my heart, from my life - just so the pain would stop and never have existed. I told myself I would avoid them, hence avoid my suffering (what the eyes can't see, the heart won't feel - as we say in my country) but love prevents me from turning my back on them.
What do you do when a loved one gets involved with drugs? What do you do when you try to talk him/her out of it and he/she won't listen? Do you desert him/her? Turn your back on him/her when he/she needs you most, even if he/she does not realise he/she does at that particular moment? How do you show someone he/she is in crash course when he/she thinks he/she is ok and you should mind your own business? How do you make this person see he/she is not ok. That he/she is creating problems for himself/herself and the others members of the family. That he/she is wasting his/her life?
How do you tell a sick person they are going to die and make them believe you when all they do is say 'I know, I know' and continue doing the same things that are killing them? Picture yourself in such situation: What would you do if the doctor told your mom she has diabetes and she keeps stuffing her face with sweets and cakes behind your back? How do you handle this? Do you let her find her death? Do you argue with her endlessly without result? Do you forbid and monitor? And how can you monitor if you are not there all the time? And how can you forbid her if she refuses to oblige and resents your trying to assist?
How do you make a child understand that, at 9 years old and being only 1.35m tall it is not normal to weight 55kg. How do you make this kid understand junk food, sweets and tons of carbohydrates are not good for her? How do you make them interested in sports and social activities that could, perhaps, take her mind away from her usual glutony habits? How can you do this if the example set by the mother does not help?
Problems do not stop there. There is a lot more saddening me. As I said, I really wanted to be able to forget about it and ignore. It's their lives after all and just like J said: It's none of my business and I can't show up once every four years and try to fix things they do not deem needs fixing. I wish I could forget. But I love them... And all I can do is watch them crash and burn, preparing myself to be available to collect what is left of the wreckage when it is all over.
Sunday, 20 August 2006
On Relationships
"Relationships don't work the way the do on television and in the movies. 'Will they? Won't they?' and they finally do and they are happy forever. Give me a break. Nine out of ten of 'em end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones that get married get divorced anyway and I am telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker; I don't care. Because I do... believe in it. Bottom line... is couples that are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand and fight for that relationship every time,if it's right and they're real lucky. One of 'em will say something."
-- Dr. Cox, from Scrubs, Season 1, Episode 16
-- Dr. Cox, from Scrubs, Season 1, Episode 16
Sunday, 11 June 2006
On 'eternal love'...
Anna: Why did you swear eternal love when all you wanted was excitement? Love bores you.
Dan: No, it disappoints me.
-- From the movie "Closer" (cut out from the movie; present on the trailer).
Dan: No, it disappoints me.
-- From the movie "Closer" (cut out from the movie; present on the trailer).
Saturday, 3 June 2006
On being truthful to one's beliefs...
"We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people."
- Arthur Schopenhauer
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Saturday, 22 April 2006
The Stone
The absent-minded stumbled on it.
The brute used it as a projectile.
The entrepreneur, with it, built an empire.
The farmer, fatigued by the labour, sat on it.
For kids, it can be a toy.
For some, inspiration for poetry.
Yet David, killed Goliah.
And Leonardo carved on it the most beautiful sculptures.
On all accounts, the difference lies not in the stone... but, rather, in the men!
(Author unknown, free form translation)
The brute used it as a projectile.
The entrepreneur, with it, built an empire.
The farmer, fatigued by the labour, sat on it.
For kids, it can be a toy.
For some, inspiration for poetry.
Yet David, killed Goliah.
And Leonardo carved on it the most beautiful sculptures.
On all accounts, the difference lies not in the stone... but, rather, in the men!
(Author unknown, free form translation)
Wednesday, 15 March 2006
True stories no one tells
Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, there was a handsome young lad who fell in love with a gorgeous girl. So he decided to ask her:
- Will you marry me?
- NO!!! - she said.
And he lived happily ever after. He went fishing, played soccer with colleagues, travelled a lot, visited many places and met many other girls. He was always in a good mood, always with a smile on his face. He never had problems with money and he could go out and have beer with his friends whenever he felt like doing so.
The End
(Free form translation. Author unknown)
- Will you marry me?
- NO!!! - she said.
And he lived happily ever after. He went fishing, played soccer with colleagues, travelled a lot, visited many places and met many other girls. He was always in a good mood, always with a smile on his face. He never had problems with money and he could go out and have beer with his friends whenever he felt like doing so.
The End
(Free form translation. Author unknown)
Sunday, 12 March 2006
Why do people get married?
Beverly Clark: Why is it, do you think, that people get married?
Devine: Passion!
Beverly Clark: No.
Devine: That's interesting, because I would have taken you for romantic... Why, then?
Beverly Clark: Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one's life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'. - Susan Sarandon & Richard Jenkins, "Shall We Dance" (2004)
Too bad promisses are not always kept...
Devine: Passion!
Beverly Clark: No.
Devine: That's interesting, because I would have taken you for romantic... Why, then?
Beverly Clark: Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one's life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'. - Susan Sarandon & Richard Jenkins, "Shall We Dance" (2004)
Too bad promisses are not always kept...
Wednesday, 22 February 2006
On relationships...
"For your information, Miss High and Mighty, this is life. People have crisis. They push each other's buttons. They inflict pain on one another. And once in a fucking blue moon, they bring out the best in each other. But mostly, they bring out the worst."
- Margaret Chenowith to her daughter Brenda on Six Feet Under, second season.
- Margaret Chenowith to her daughter Brenda on Six Feet Under, second season.
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