The Empty House Syndrome

It’s wonderful to have successfully finished this first phase of my project in Malaysia. And it certainly feels good to be back home and knowing I’ll be in for the week. However, the thought of ‘going home’ to no one still upset me. When J was around and I could not take her travelling with me, it was reassuring to know she would be home when I arrived. It was always nice. We would stay away for a couple of days and upon my return she would be the sweetest person. She would greet me at the door with a big smile, help me unpacking, ask me about the trip, those things... It was nice...

Now, I come home to an empty apartment. No one to talk to. No one waiting for me. Just the furniture and my own personal chaos: piles of paid bills and receipts, CDs and DVDs, small money from different countries and lots of computer parts and manuals. Nothing that could give me the warm feeling of being home again.

So, after I finished part of the unpacking yesterday, I inserted a DVD into the player and sat down on the sofa, a can of diet coke in one hand, the remote control in the other... On the big screen, Shakira, MTV Unplugged show started. I bought it by mistake. I thought it was the “Laundry Service” show, her latest. But no problem, I like Shakira since the first released album. The songs on this DVD are those from the second, “Dónde están los ladrones?”. I knew I was going to enjoy it. What I didn’t know was that I was going to start crying after paying attention the lyrics. Good Lord! Why do I always cry?

Songs like ‘Moscas en la casa’, ‘Sombras de Ti’, ‘Inevitable’ and especially ‘Tú’ can only be written by someone who has experienced both love and lost. Check the lyrics at LyricsFreak.

Now, the big question is: was I missing company or missing *her* company? Hard to say. I guess a bit of both. I need to fall in love again... (sighs)