Yes, we're trying. She's trying, I'm trying. And sometimes we even manage. Yesterday the movie was ok. Resident Evil. I wasn't expecting much and, well, it wasn't much. No, I'm not saying it was bad. Truth is, it was more than I expected, it just got a bit boring when the zombies started appearing. It's always hard to make a good movie with zombies, you know. They are too slow and already dead, what's the point of shooting them? We all know how it goes, right? But anyway, the movie was ok and the night was fine. Uneventful, but fine. We were together, not arguing, that alone makes me happy. So, we survived another day. And that's how we've been trying to do things. One days after another. I'm glad it's been working so far...

Oh, don't you wish life was always easy? Like, this was a wonderful day (well, at least so far!). No issues whatsoever. Quite the contrary, some very good surprises and sweet moments. Of course there was this brief jealousy and some instances where she would really push my buttons with silly questions for which she does have the answer, but apart from that, it was a good day.

For example, in the afternoon, she questioned me about my web site. It's been ages since I last updated it and I knew she would find some old stuff about my previous marriage and all. I also knew she was mentioned as someone very important to me. Nevertheless, I gave her the URL and waited for the storm...

Sure enough, she had questions, doubts, fears and everything I expected to her (oh, wow, am I getting good at is or what?), and sure enough she said "Nothing! Why?" when I asked what was all the frown and pouting about. After some insistence, she admited seeing the site had made her mind wander. But we talked, and talked, and talked some more and after that, we were ok again. The proof? Some sweet and erotic moments we haven't had for some time...

We're going to have dinner out with friends and catch a late session in the movies. Let's see how it goes.

Sometimes it's just a small thing. But small things are the ones that matter most, isn't it? Last night it was the remote control for the TV. No, I do not demand to have the control. We weren't even watching TV. It was a movie. Some movie she suggested, actually. Nothing special. "Romeo Must Die", it was. Things were fine. I was watching the movie, she was sitting on the sofa, reading a book and writing some notes, not really watching the movie.

At a certain moment, when the movie was almost finished - another five or ten minutes to go, I'd say - she reached for the remote control and lowered the volume considerably. Just like that! No comments, no questions, just got the remote, lowered the volume and put it back on the centre table where it first was.

That really got me and I kept saying to myself: - I won't say anything, I won't say anything, I WON'T SAY ANYTHING... Well, it did not work. It was the climax of the movie and the volume was, though good enough to listen, too low to give it the punch it needed. If I was to get the remote and pump up the volume, it would look childish. So I had to say: - This was very rude of you, you know? Lowering the volume like this, without asking. Then she said "it was too loud" (she was the one to put the movie and set things for us to watch!) and it all started again.

As usual, we made peace in bed, before getting to sleep. But while she was already fast asleep, I was still staring at the ceiling, still thinking of our lives together...

People say "be careful with what you wish for, for you might get it". I guess there's lots of wisdom in such statement. You see, life is funny sometimes, you fight so much and try so hard to get something you want and after you manage to get it, you begin to realize it wasn't exactly what you wanted. And when this happens you find yourself in a very ackward situation where you can't really say what went wrong, if anything at all.

This relationship was a dream come true, seriously! In the begining, it wasn't what one would call perfect but - "hey, we're only humans!" - I thought. "Give it some time and it will be fine". I've been giving it lots of time since then, and I wonder when will it be enough...

... and so we said goodbye. But was it really? I mean, we have tried parting our ways so many times before. Was this to be the final?

Well, quite honestly, this happened two months ago. And no, it was not final. We are back together, for good or for worse. For how long this time? Time will tell. I wish I could...