Speaking of the devil...

I was in bed reading. Sergei Prokofiev playing on the office. Not too loud, of course. Not at this time. 1:25am my mobile plays the SMS alert. It was J saying:

"Hi. How are you? Just sending you a hug, kisses and love. J"

How do I cope with that?

Trading six for half a dozen

I’ve been spending time with Noor. We met on Monday, watched the new Tomb Raider movie on Wednesday, had dinner yesterday and today she followed me to an Aikido dojo and then home for another DVD session. She’s nice but I am beginning to get bothered by a few things.

For example, we met several times this week and if it depended on her, we would have spent even more time together, meaning ‘every day’. I certainly enjoy the company but I need my own time to do my own things in my own pace, whenever I want. And though she will say “oh, yes, I do not want to interfere with your work or private time, honey” such statement will soon be followed by the question “so, what are you doing tomorrow? Can we meet again?”.

And all this comes after a long chat on Wednesday. That day, after the movie, I made an attempt to make it clear she’s going too fast, in my opinion, a sure way to have a heartache later. Relationship is a mutual thing, I’ve been learning. When one is not in the same pace as the other, things are bound to go wrong. As they did with the girl ‘whose eyes punched holes in my soul’. You do remember, don’t you? She never wrote again. I scared the poor thing away.

It makes me think: J used to complain I did not have time for her; quite an unfair statement as we were always going out for movies, dinners and/or other activities. If Noor, not even a girlfriend yet, already feels ‘neglected’ in spite of all the time we spent together during the past few weeks, where is this going to lead? This is, as we say in my country, “trading six for half a dozen”.

All these frustrated relationships make me think a lot about J. Every time something goes wrong, I think about her and how much we had in common. I guess this ‘behaviour’ will only stop when I fall in love again. But till then, how do I avoid it? And the fact she keeps sending me messages doesn’t help either. Which is, as I mentioned, exactly what she wants. She’s smart, that girl.

She replied to my email. The last one. My reply to hers. I knew it was a bad move to reply, I knew it! So, she came back with the sweetest message, so apologetic, saying she didn’t really mean the things she said. It was just that she cares and lately I have been on her mind a lot (oops! Am I to blame?).

So… My dearest friend in the Philippines says J is the one for me. I have to avoid meeting my uncle online because he always asks “Are you back with J yet? No?!? Give the girl another chance…”. My love life is getting nowhere. My sex life sucks (not literally, unfortunately). And I am not getting any younger. Will I get to my 40s alone? Shoo, shoo – scary thought! Will someone help, please? I am getting very vulnerable here. If J calls, I will have to hang up on her! I am getting very easy to convince and she always has the right speech and arguments for coming back. That would be a really bad move…

Other people’s problems…

… are so much easier to solve, aren’t they? When you are looking from outside you get a better picture of the entire situation and you have a better understanding of the matter. You can analyse things better and decisions are done based on reasoning, not on emotions. The only problem is, for those inside, whatever you suggest will always be ‘easier said than done’.

J sent me an email a couple of days ago. Sunday, Monday, I do not remember and it doesn’t really matter. She started by saying “I have to apologise for my rudeness” and then complained about how I never send her emails or call. She said I do not treasure the years we spent together and just totally forgot about her, as if she was a toy I was tired of playing with.

Now, that is new… After all she has done, after all we’ve been through, she is saying I do not treasure what we had. Human beings never cease to amaze me. She said the reason she wanted me to keep contact is because she ‘worries’ about me and wants me to be happy. Yeah, right… Let’s put things into perspective and chance her speech a bit. She is not happy, her life is going no where and she wants to know if I am in the same situation. That sounds more like it, yeah.

She even said that if I do not want any contact, as far as she is concerned, I can “drop dead”. That one made me laugh and also proud of her because she was actually writing in English! She certainly got a lot of vocabulary. When she came to Singapore her English skills were so limited she couldn’t even ask for direction. Ha!

But well, I wrote her back. I usually do. I mean, if I get a message, I do not mind replying. So I did. And I told her, in a very nice way (honestly) that I did not know why she was complaining. Every time she writes, I write back. Just recently I chatted with her online. I have been having more contact with her than with my ex-wife. What is it that she wants from me? Rhetoric question, in fact, because I know what she wants…

But the reason I mention this is, I have been telling people to move on with their lives, let go of frustrated relationships that are getting nowhere, and yet, I don’t seem to listen to my own advice. Yes, I have been trying to let go and meeting new people and all. But now I think, why did I even bother to reply to her email? I could have simply deleted it. Would it make any difference? She said I could drop dead, right? Why not let her think I did? When I replied to her, I gave her reasons to write again thus perpetuating this broken relationship that doesn’t seem to die. It’s a bloody ‘moto continuo’.

I mentioned before and it’s pretty obvious I do not hate her. I wish her all good things in life and I really care for her. I wouldn’t mind helping if she needed and I would be glad to attend to her wedding, should she find a nice guy who loved and respected her and that she loved and respected in return. I would do it. Seriously. It would be one of those moments when you cannot precise whether the tears rolling down your face are from happiness and pain, but I would be there, smiling to her.

But then, for that to happen, *we* must let go. Though it is, as I said, ‘easier said than done’… But I am getting there. Yes, sir, I am. I just have to be careful not to fall in temptation, because that would be deadly and things would get back to the way they were in no time. Can I possibly take any more?

It scares me to think I actually can… (sighs)

And the river runs through it...

I met Noor last Thursday. Quite a nice person. Sweet, easy to talk to, light-hearted, fun to be with… The chemistry was nice and so, the plans for the DVD marathon on Saturday were kept. On Saturday, she came a bit late. The appointment was at 2:00pm and by 2:20 I was already wondering if she had stood me up. But that was not the case. She arrived 2:30 and we had a nice time chatting and watching movies.

It was nice to have someone with me at home. It’s been a long time since it happened last. It also gave me the incentive I needed to tidy up the place a little. The mess was getting out of hand, I must confess. I am not exactly organized but I do keep my place in order. I might have mentioned I believe your house, your desk at the office, your ‘environment’ reflects your mind. If they are messy, well, that does say something about you.

It took me a while to actually sort out old receipts, throw away old magazines and news papers, put computer cables and parts in their places etc but it was worth it. When she arrived, the house looked presentable again. And even my bed had the two sides free. Not that I was planning to drag the girl to bed, not that. Well, at least not yet anyway (grin). But since J went away, I don’t know if it just happened or if I did it on purpose, her side of the bed was taken by books and folded clothes I bring back from the trips. Maybe it was a way to have ‘something’ beside me when I sleep. A way to make the bed not ‘so big’… Maybe. I don’t know.

She came to the apartment, we watched some movies, ate pop corn, talked, held hand, hugged, kissed… And went out for dinner before getting to intimate. I was feeling a bit shy. Probably because I do not know how to behave with her. I mean, being a Muslim girl and all, I really don’t know what is appropriate or not. And I don’t want her to think I am a pervert. Well, I am, but not a rude pervert. Well, ok, maybe rude but not intentionally. Ok, ok, sometimes intentionally but not always! (Damn!!!)

So, I was just following her lead. Taking ‘her’ time instead of mine. However, after we said goodbye I was left with the feeling maybe I was being too naïve. Maybe she thought this “latin lover” thing was a myth. Hmph… Myself being naïve… That sounds so funny… Almost hard to believe.

It doesn’t matter, I had a good time. And I enjoyed the company. Now I just have to figure out what is really going on because deep in my heart I know she is not the one yet. So, is it bad to spend time together? Am I fooling her and making her believe there is a *us* planned for the future? Am I going too fast, risking breaking her heart or mine? Or am I going too slow? Should I talk to her and explain all this? Or just let it flow? Again, I don’t know. I hoped so much to find someone and now I am having second thoughts. Why? Geez, will I ever know what I want?

The problem is: J has been on my mind since we last spoke online. I’m not sure why. Now and then I find myself thinking about her. Why now? I really thought I was over her. Every time I think of her, I remember all the things that happened and she is put back into the “do not call” list, but why does she keep coming back to my thoughts in the first place? Is my heart still with her?

A very good friend in the Philippines sent me this email saying that she honestly believed J was still the one for me. I respect and love her very much and as I read that, I knew she was telling me something no one else would. She was being honest with me, giving me her point of view about all that is happening in my life. She is a true friend. She worries and always sends me emails, which I seldom reply, but she never gives up on me (May, if you ever read this, thank you for being there. I love you dearly and I wish you ‘enough’!).

Enough of writing. I am tired and confused. I can’t concentrate anymore.

I might be going to the movies tomorrow with Noor, and maybe we’ll have a serious talk about our expectations on the relationship afterwards. Or maybe not. I don’t know. I know nothing…

Timing, is it?

It was in the papers a couple of years ago. A mother killed her one month baby by asphyxiations with a pillow. She had been a rape victim and the baby was the result. She was charged, convicted and sentenced to life in prison. Jurors and judge had no mercy. They lectured her on how could she be so cruel and cold blooded to harm an innocent and defenseless child.

Amazingly enough, on the same state abortion is legal. Had she committed the crime half an year earlier, not only she would have been free, but also would have had help from a team of surgeons for the procedure and psychologists to help cope with the depression.

As I see it, it would have been murder just the same. For them, abortion is a choice for modern independent women who take control of their lives and destiny.

So... Is it really just a matter of timing?

...

Remember I mentioned the Thai sisters were calling again? Phrang sent me a message asking if I could lend her money so she could go see her daughter. A daughter I never new she had. She sounded really desperate. The amount? 25,000 Baht. Around 1,500$ dollars.

Let's think for a moment, shall we? The flight ticket from Bangkok to Chiang Rae, all the way to the north of the country, costs 2000 Baht. The international flight from Singapore to Bangkok is around 400$ dollars, less than 10,000 Baht. Where the heck is this child of hers she so desperately wants to visit?

I sent her sister an SMS saying: "Don't let your sister kill the baby. She might die in the process...". She called 20 seconds later.

- How do you know? She's five months pregnant...

Good question, Tok. How do I know? Well, as I usually say, what I don't know, the Devil will tell me...

How to make an entire country look silly

Singapore and Malaysia have always had their differences. It's part of Singapore's history. I am neither historian nor expert; hell, I've been here for only 3 years. It's hardly time enough for you to know the country even if you do study its history. But some things you do realize in that time.

Singapore, being an island as you know, was once a Malay territory. And I've been told it became independent because at certain point in time the Malays said "Hmmm... There are way too many Chinese in that island...". Chinese are not Muslims and they have their own way of behaving, you know. So it made sense to come to a friendly agreement and just "politically expel" them.

That's what they did. They made sure they had a good deal by ensuring land and jobs and opportunities would still be granted for them and "expelled" that "annoying" little thing.

Well, but as I said, the Chinese have their ways and I'm willing to bet Malays never expected such a small piece of land with barely any natural resources to become so rich.

If you cross the bridge to Malaysia (built by Singapore) and have a look at Johor Baruh, first city after the immigration, what you will see resembles what Singapore used to be in the 70's, shortly after the independence treat. It becomes obvious that Singapore underwent a huge renovation while Malaysia, well... Didn't!

Still today, based on the treaty that was so unilateral, Malays have their interests protected in Singapore. They will have benefits no other race in Singapore will have. For example, by law, a certain percentage of apartments in HDB flats (economic dwellings created by the government) must be available to Malay buyers at a discounted price. It doesn't matter if there are buyers or not. If there aren't, those units are to be available just the same.

There are lots of other situations and cases where Malays are protected or simply benefit from the law but I'm getting off track too much, diverting from the topic. The important thing to know is: Malays have all benefits and still complain.

It's like having a healthy male adult complaining he is being abused or taken advantage of by a 6 month baby girl.

The latest case and reason for the post is the 'water issue'. It's been in the papers and sounds so absurd it borders the ridiculous. Singapore has no water resources. The agreement set the price of the water supplied by Malaysia. There was a date when the price was to be reviewed and adjusted. Malaysia 'forgot' about it and missed the date. When they realized it, they came complaining. Singapore agreed to review the price despite the inefficiency of the Malay government. The price doubled.

Two years later, way before the next adjustment date, Malaysia started complaining again. Singapore ceded and a new adjustment was made. Another couple of years passed and guess what? Yep, Malays came whining again. Now they are advertising in every paper that Singapore had an enormous profit on re-selling the water they bought so cheap and that this is not fair. The latest I read even mentioned that "each Singaporean would have to pay only a couple of cents, less then a bite of a Big Mac, for an entire year supply of water".

Don't this people realize they are making a mockery of themselves? Check the news on both Singaporean and Malaysean papers, the "Straits Times" and "The New Straits Times" respectively.

At the airport

Woohoo!!! Going home early. I am actually wait-listed for two flights later today. My confirmed flight is only tomorrow at 10:00am. However, Rajan (the limousine driver) got me queue numbers at the airport and I think I'll manage to go back.

Noor sounded happy I am going back earlier. Maybe we can meet later today? Who knows? It would be great, wouldn't it?

Busy long days

This trip to Malaysia was fruitful. Yesterday morning we had a good meeting with Roche Malaysia and in the afternoon at another customer's site I managed to solve pending issues regarding reporting. My colleague, the Sales Director who needed my help seemed to be happy with the results.

Throughout the day, every hour or so, I would be taking quick breaks to SMS Noor, my new online friend. I'm not ashamed to admit: I am infatuated. And she seems to be too, which is good. We have been talking a lot, either via SMS or Instant Messenger and we get along fine, despite our so different cultural background.

This is a lesson I needed. She's muslim and with all the ignorance about their religion, I am faced with the opportunity to learn more.

I invited her for dinner followed by a DVD session in my place and she accepted. Dinner will be tomorrow and the DVD session is to be settled during dinner. Oh, boy... I am looking forward to it. If the chemistry is right in person as it has been over the net, we will both have solved our loneliness problems.

Someone unexpected

I forgot to mention, I received an email in reply to my web personals ad. Singaporean girl. So far she has been very interesting, sweet and understanding. We exchanged a couple of messages by email, then moved to Instant Messenger and now, we exchange SMSs.

She is so kind when talking to me it makes it difficult not to be drawn to her. But then again, I am always so starved for attention it's hard to tell what's real from what my mind and needy heart want to be real. And though I keep telling myself to take it slowly (I barely know her) I find myself willing to talk to her every chance I got.

Oh, boy... I'm pathetic, I know...

Here we go again

SQ118 to Kuala Lumpur: 22 minutes delayed. Do I care? Not so sure anymore. If entire populations get used with being abused by corrupt governors, countless wives get used with their husbands physical assaults, numerous children get used with not having a proper meal at least once a day... Should I care if the bloody plane is 20+ minutes late?

The answer is: Yes! I should!!!

Because I cannot to be responsible for what happens to others but I can certainly try to fix things that happen to me. As much as I would love to, I cannot solve the world's problems. If I could snap my fingers and guarantee every kid is well fed, every household is peaceful and every country has a fair prosperous government, believe me, I would have done it long ago. Unfortunately, this is not how the story goes and the best I can do with my limited powers is try to solve my own personal conflicts, in my own personal space, hoping others will do the same.

Who are they?

Your friends, who are they? Your real friends. Family doesn’t count and don’t come to me with stories of how good your relationship is with your father, mother, brother, sister or anyone who shares the same last name or is somehow blood related. Go ahead, count them. Got a number? Ok, now let me tell you this:

If you think your friends are the ones that have so much in common with you, who will agree with you in all things and all the time, boy I’m telling you, you’re in for a big surprise. It might sound funny after what’s been said in the first paragraph but, you’re real friends are just like your family. They will fight you, argue with you, disagree, from time to time even upset you but the important thing is they are there for you. In your darkest hour, when everyone else turns away from you, they will be there. They will tell you to your face “You really screwed up this time!” just to complement with “Let’s see how *WE* solve this mess.”

For them, there is no wrong time, there are no ‘buts’, nothing is too much or too difficult. They will be there for you. They will tell you what you need to hear when no one else has the guts to do it, even when they know you’re not going to like it. As someone said recently, they are like bitter medication. They are the family you get to choose. So, choose carefully.

I can count on the fingers of one hand the friends, real friends, I have. And though I wish I had more, I know it’s not that easy. Good friends just don’t ‘happen’. They cannot be bought and cannot be made in a couple of weeks.

Now, that said. Who are they? Your real friends. Count again…

And to my friends who might be reading: Guys, thank you ever so much.

…

It was 2:15am and I had just put my instant messenger on “away” mode. As soon as I switched off the lights I heard the usual sound of incoming message. I was really tired but you know how these things are, right? Wouldn’t hurt to check the mailbox one more time, wouldn’t hurt see who was calling. Wanna take a guess?

J. It was her. The message was simply “you there?”. Well, I could, or perhaps should, have pretended not to see. Next morning I would just send an offline message saying “Sorry! I wasn’t”. But that would be so mean. And honestly, it’s not like I hate her and never want to hear from her again. How could I possibly? I spent 4 years with her. I learned a lot from her and owe her a lot too. If the thought of avoiding her crossed my mind, it’s just due to the realization that we are not meant to be together. So, why insist?

Anyway, the heart gave in, the brain was already halfway asleep, so I ‘chatted’ a bit. All the usual stuff: “How are you? How’s work? Have you been travelling? You haven’t sent me my post cards.”… So on and so forth. Nothing ever changes. I could feel she was very meticulously trying not to scare me away by saying something stupid while steering the conversation towards her real goals, whatever they were. Confirmation came when she asked “But, honestly, how are things with you?”.

I know her too well, you know? It’s a side effect of intimacy. The real question behind the question was “Have you found a girlfriend yet?” or “Are you still alone and maybe unhappy?”. You know where this was going to get, right? I had too much of that already. Providence come to rescue me by dropping her connection (may God bless dial-ups) before I could reply. So I set my IM to “away” again and headed bed without looking back.

This morning there was an email from her sister in my mail box. It said:

“Hi, how are you. When are you coming back to visit? We all miss you very much. Sorry, the line dropped. J is asking you to call her. Love, Fa.”

I didn’t. And life goes on…

You are all going to die down here!

Or so said the Red Queen!

And I say: Yeah, Sweetie; Now tell me something I do not know! Because, as far as I know, I’ve been dying since the day I was born. Now, it’s just a matter of counting days and trying hard to make the most out of them.

And I mentioned before, another 15 years should be enough to see my son a grown up, well educated man, living and leading his own life. As of now, this is all that really matters. Unless of course, I manage to find my soul mate, who will sweep me off my feet and bring me back to life. Make me believe in love again. That would be nice, but I’m beginning to think it’s unlikely.

Let’s see... I had an argument with Melody. I was already disappointed with her and her way of dealing with things, but still regarded her as a friend. Then she called, gave me that “Oh, I love you so much” speech and asked me to call back next day. Soft-hearted and needy as I am right now, I fell for it. I started thinking maybe I was being too inconsiderate with her situation and perhaps I should be more understanding. Given the fact I am supposed to go back to the Philippines in a couple of weeks, I started nurturing the idea of having a serious conversation with her and, who knows, give it a try.

Well, that thought did not last long. She had a sudden jealousy attack, triggered by a comment I sent her via SMS, and avoided my calls for two days. I did not know what was happening. Honestly, I thought maybe her mobile (a pre-paid one) had no credits or she had travelled to some remote area with no mobile coverage. But when I finally got through, I was greeted by a totally different person. Not by the same sweet girl who was making me everlasting love promises days before, but by a mean bitter and unaffectionate woman who did not care to listen to what I had to say. Well, fair enough. We did not have anything going before, we might as well keep it like that.

Koi, in Thailand, is still a doll. And still thinks I am a bloody ATM machine. What is wrong with these people!? She sent me an email explaining what happened with the money I had given her so she could make her passport. The passport is yet to be issued but just a couple of days ago she said she had to send money to her parents and asked if I could help. It broke my heart to say no. But I was already hurting when she asked. Nothing ever changes...

The sisters are calling again. I deserve it! They probably know Koi and I are not doing so fine after all. I am a prey at large. “Look! The ‘jai dee’ foreigner is free again!” Is it worth it? I’m afraid not.

Ok, so – as the sales guys would say – what’s in the pipeline? Erm... Nothing! There’s nothing in the pipeline. No one. Not a single soul. Right now, I am waiting for Lord Almighty to have mercy on me and give me some pointers, cause I really do not know where to look anymore.

And I just realized: I am like wine! With age, I am getting… Bitter!

Wherever you are...

And I know you are out there somewhere; please listen to me. I’ve been trying to find you without any success. I’ve been looking in the wrong places. I’ve been meeting the wrong people. I’ve been wasting time, sometimes losing focus. And I am getting weary. So, please hear my plea. If you’re looking for me too, please do not give up. We will meet, I am sure. But I am counting on you for help. Maybe you are more resourceful than I am. Maybe you are more focused. Maybe you are stronger. Do not give up on me, please. Please.

The Empty House Syndrome

It’s wonderful to have successfully finished this first phase of my project in Malaysia. And it certainly feels good to be back home and knowing I’ll be in for the week. However, the thought of ‘going home’ to no one still upset me. When J was around and I could not take her travelling with me, it was reassuring to know she would be home when I arrived. It was always nice. We would stay away for a couple of days and upon my return she would be the sweetest person. She would greet me at the door with a big smile, help me unpacking, ask me about the trip, those things... It was nice...

Now, I come home to an empty apartment. No one to talk to. No one waiting for me. Just the furniture and my own personal chaos: piles of paid bills and receipts, CDs and DVDs, small money from different countries and lots of computer parts and manuals. Nothing that could give me the warm feeling of being home again.

So, after I finished part of the unpacking yesterday, I inserted a DVD into the player and sat down on the sofa, a can of diet coke in one hand, the remote control in the other... On the big screen, Shakira, MTV Unplugged show started. I bought it by mistake. I thought it was the “Laundry Service” show, her latest. But no problem, I like Shakira since the first released album. The songs on this DVD are those from the second, “Dónde están los ladrones?”. I knew I was going to enjoy it. What I didn’t know was that I was going to start crying after paying attention the lyrics. Good Lord! Why do I always cry?

Songs like ‘Moscas en la casa’, ‘Sombras de Ti’, ‘Inevitable’ and especially ‘Tú’ can only be written by someone who has experienced both love and lost. Check the lyrics at LyricsFreak.

Now, the big question is: was I missing company or missing *her* company? Hard to say. I guess a bit of both. I need to fall in love again... (sighs)

When nice people behave not so nicely

For those who don't know, Singapore is a very controlled and organized country. To the point jokes will say it's a fine city: you'll get fined for almost anything, from chewing gum to not flushing the toilet. From speaking in public without a permit to feeding the birds in a park.

Though it might sound funny to some and too extreme to others, this approach ensures the country is clean and things work as expected. And while it's an annoyance to most, for me, coming from a country where anarchy is the rule not the exception, this strict way of running the country is a blessing.

You learn to live with these rules. And the moment they serve you in any way, you become glad they were there. The only problem is: you really get used to things done the proper way. You get used to abiding to the law. And when you feel something is not the way it's supposed to be, you resent it.

I do not have many complaints about life in Singapore. When asked if I like the place, I have no problem saying it's the second best country in the globe (Denmark still being the first). I have always been treated with respect and fairness here. But sometimes I catch myself thinking: are Singaporeans nice people by nature or because of the law?

Consider this: Every one knows you're not supposed to switch your mobile on while in the plane. Whether it is really dangerous is beyond the point. We’re told to have it switched off at all times while on board the aircraft. When the cabin crew says that repeatedly and in different languages, would you agree there is a reason for it? And if they say having the mobile on interferes with the plane's navigation system, wouldn't it be fair to at least give them the benefit of doubt and just have the bloody piece of equipment off?

Well, so it happens ever so frequently that, whenever arriving in Singapore, as soon as the plane has its wheels on the ground, people start switching on their phones. It's just plain stupid! Flight attendants will not allow you to answer the phone if it happens to ring. Besides, after you've been on a plane with your mobile off for two hours (or whatever amount of time, for that matter), what difference does it make if you switch it on 15 minutes after the touch down, when you are already outside, in the lounge?

On this last flight, this guy’s phone started ringing while the plane was still on it’s way to the gate. At first he pretended it wasn’t his. You know, that “Gold Fish” look on his face. Then, when the situation was unbearable, everyone else staring at him and the stewardess already approaching to lecture him, he switched it off without answering, all apologetic. What a clown.

Makes no sense to me... But, what the heck, I'm getting old and grumpy. Never mind me! Just the same, I’ll tell you more about ‘nice people behaving not so nicely’ some other time.

All's well when it ends well

Everything's done! I'm going home! There's nothing like a little help from the masters to speed up things a little bit. BK, recently being called 'Khun Blues' due to his long presence in Thailand, arrived on site Thursday morning. We had this little meeting with the end user in the morning and after lunch he helped me validating the environment.

Nothig wrong with my installation (which made me very proud and relieved) but still the bloody Dialogic Card wasn't dialing.

Yesterday, we repeated the routine and after fiddling with the board configuration a little more - badabin-badaban - we were able to make the calls. We're done! Now, all I have to do is be available and wait till other pieces of the solution are ready, so we can proceed with UAT (User Acceptance Testing) and move to production.

Good, lah!!!

Testing, 1, 2, 3...

My first post using the new PDA! I'm not sure it's going to work as my connection to the desktop application is not yet operational. It's not the first time it stops synchronizing. It happened once before. That time, all I had to do was re-install the software. Well, this time it did not work. Another thing that is bothering me a bit is the fact my Graffiti is not so accurate anymore. I don't know, maybe it's just a matter of getting used to the 'feel' of the screen, which is a lot smoother than the other model. Or maybe I'll have to buy protective screen covers to this model. I don't know...

About falling in love

"Data from questionnaire studies (Rombouts, 1987) suggest that [falling in love] is triggered by a specific sequence of events, in which the qualities of the love-object are of minor importance. A person is ready to fall in love because of one of a number of reasons - loneliness, sexual need, dissatisfaction, or need or variety. An object then incites interest, again for one of a number of reasons, such as novelty, attractiveness, or mere proximity. Then give the person a moment of promise, a brief response from the object that suggests interest. It may be a confidence; it may be a single glance, such as a young girl may think she received from a pop star. Then give the person a brief lapse of time - anywhere between half an hour or half a day, the self-report suggests - during which fantasies can develop. After that sequence, no more than a single confirmation, real or imagined is needed to precipitate falling in love." -- Nico H. Frijda, University of Amsterdam, The Netherlands in his paper on The Laws of Emotion.

Home! Finally!

Good Lord! That was an adventure... I'm finally back at the hotel, waiting for my medium rare sirloin steak with black pepper sauce. I'm starving! And oh so tired (what's new?).

I still have to read the documentation on the 'Outbound Solution' and reply to mail messages, but it's ok. At least I can do it in my briefs. And tonight I *AM* going to bed early.

It's fine. Until it rains...

When in Kuala Lumpur, being Malaysia a Muslin country, you do have to exercise some common sense. Not that it's dangerous or anything alike; It's just that the culture is really different and it's not hard to find oneself in an uncomfortable gaffe. For example, Muslin women are not supposed to have any physical contact with men other than their husbands. So, if you try to shake their hands when you get introduced, you will find yourself in a social gaffe. Since in the business world shaking hands is normal (unless you're in Japan) some Muslin business women are used to it and consider it acceptable. But in any case, wait for them to extend their hands and you will avoid looking silly.

I'm not sure if I mentioned but recently in the local papers, an article was discussing what should constitute 'improper or lewd behaviour'. The question was raised after a young couple was arrested and fined in KL for holding hands in a park. Last Valentine's Day I also read that the police was arresting couples who were making out in cars and forcing them to get married. A Muslin friend, whose sister is married to an Englishman, tells me she - the sister - gets constantly nagged by officials asking for marriage certificates. If she fails to produce them, which she never does, she could be in trouble. Yep. There you go. Cultural differences.

I've been told they have some sort of 'moral enforcement agents' that go around, sometimes in disguise, watching out for bad or inappropriate conduct of members of the Muslin community. They say they are not concerned with foreigners, focusing just in preserving the interest of their own people. But I hear contradictory comments on that.

Regardless all these do's and don’ts, Kuala Lumpur is quite fine... Until it rains! Once it starts raining, the city becomes a chaos and things get really complicated. It was just past 5pm when I started packing my stuff to get back to the hotel. That's when I heard it... Loud and clear. Frightening. Mr Murphy's laughter. "Oh, SHOOT" I said to myself. And before I could do anything else, it was pouring outside. It was damn hot the entire day and it had to rain exactly when I was about to leave, of course.

I had to wait for one hour till the rains subsided. It did not stop, but at least I could get outside and wait for a taxi on the taxi stand. But wait, it's not over yet. I was waiting there for half an hour, already soaked, when the rains started to get strong again. I gave up. Decided I would be better off sitting here and accessing the internet. It's almost 8pm and I am still here, at the bank, typing this just to avoid being bored to death. I guess I should try again. Maybe I am luckier this time.

Huh? No internet access???

Well, it would be more accurate to say 'no proper internet access'. I do have internet access now, but it's so limited. Remember when we used to hand write our letters and the fastest way to send a document was the fax machine? Remember when internet was a novelty and people did not really count on it for 'serious' things? Remember when you decided you needed an internet service provider for your home? To some, this was not so long ago. Myself, in 1987 I was making international phone calls that would cost a fortune just to browse the net through CompuServ. Somehow I missed the big boom and did not get involved in the 'Dot Com' business. I could be running my own ISP now. But it doesn't really matter...

So, here I am, in Kuala Lumpur (by the way, did I mention it means 'Muddy River'?), with very limited internet access and suffering because of that. Even my newest toy, the Clie PEG-NR80V/G with WiFi, has no use as there are no Wireless Spots around. Sad, sad, sad...