The Blessing

- My country we have this... ... custom?
- Uhmm, humm? - I replied trying to anticipate what was coming.
- We give... hmmm... food?
- ... ?!?
- To family. Not much. Just... ... symbol?
- Mai cotchai, Koi!?
- We go Big C. You will understand. Dai mai?
- Dai. Mai pen rai...

And so, off we went to the supermarket. A big one, I should say. Comparable with any Carrefour in Singapore or Kuala Lumpur. It’s called Big C. Go figure... She got a pushcart and started filling it with instant noodles, cream crackers, small bottles of fish sauce, small packages of sugar, a pack of thin small sized candles… things like that. I suddenly started feeling a bit abused. I thought, “Hold on a second. It’s a custom to have a stranger who barely knows the family do grocery shopping for them all?” It did not seem right and I though of complaining. But something in me told me I should wait and see what the story was. Besides, no matter how much she bought, I knew the total amount would be so cheap it would not be worth the argument so... I kept quiet. I even started encouraging her, suggesting things like coffee powder, glasses, morning cereal etc. Oddly, nothing I suggested seemed to be right. She would look at me with a question mark all over her face. That “what-the-heck-is-he-talking-about” kind of look, you know? I did not get it so I gave up; volunteered to push the cart and shut up. She did not over do it and I was getting very curious now.

When she was done, we proceeded to the cashier and as I expected, the total amount was very cheap. My monthly grocery shop usually goes beyond S$500 and, mind you, I live alone now. Hers, with all she bought, was did not exceed S$110. Was it worth fighting for? Not really. If she was happy, I was happy. They would be happy too so everyone was happy. Small price to pay for all that happiness, I figured.

We drove back to her parents’ house and there, she started dividing all we had bought into small plastic bags. Not much in each bag. One or two instant noodles, a small bottle of fish sauce, some sugar, some salt, two of the small candles. I still did not understand but helped her do what she was doing. Then she went to the kitchen, got a plate, one of the bags and called me to follow her to her auntie’s house.

When we got there she asked me if I had 200 Baht. I gave her the money and we got in the house. She spoke with her aunt in Thai, something I couldn’t possibly understand but her aunt seemed very happy. We sat down on the floor across from the lady, she put the plate in front of us, the small things she had on the plastic bag on the plate, the two 100 Baht bills I gave her and the two small candles laying down on top of everything. Then she motioned me to put my hands together as in a prayer while her auntie recited something in Thai. It was indeed a little prayer, she was saying. When she finished, Koi pushed the plate to her, she took the things from it. All this was done very seriously and respectfully. After she pushed the plate back to Koi, she was all smiles again. We said thank, goodbye and left.

It was then that Koi said: “In my country (she did not mean Thailand, but Chiang Rai), when someone goes to a big city and makes more money than the ones who stayed behind, we have this custom of giving a gift symbolizing help. The old people like it very much because it shows gratitude. She thanked us and blessed us. Whoever comes back from working in big cities will do it.”

I was glad I was patient enough to wait for the result because it was nice to be part of that. We went back and repeated the process a few more times for different uncles and aunties. When we were done, we went to her house and to my surprise each and every one of them showed up with something for us to take back o Bangkok. Some brought us fruits, others tea from their farms, grinded chilly, food... It was their turn to return the kindness of our act. I found it all so amusing and interesting...

But the blessing wasn’t finished yet. Since it was our last night there and we were saying goodbye, her parents also prayed for our safe journey back. Now, that got me a bit worried. Not that it was scary or anything. It’s just that... Well... Suddenly I really had this impression we were getting married!!! If I am to get married to anyone, I would like to know first! I think it’s a fair request, ain’t it? We were on our knees, her mother and father blessing us in Thai, her aunts and uncles tying strings in our wrists and saying little prayers with every knot that got tied. Then her parents sprinkled water in our heads and it was over. I could not resist... when we left the place after all the ‘goodbyes’ and ‘have a nice trip backs’ I asked her: Erm... Did we just get married? She laughed so much that I felt safe again! :o)