They say life begins at 40. Is that really so? Or is it just "old people's" talk? I guess I will find out soon. Maybe sooner than I think! I am 35 now and I do not picture myself living to my 80's. My grandpa passed away recently - may The Lord keep his soul - at the age of 98 (!!!). My father says that in our family we usually live long. Still, I really do not think I will be over 50. I mean, life is good and I enjoy it very much. I am not bitter or anything. I had ups and downs like anyone else but altogether I consider myself to be very fortunate. Throughout my entire life and have been blessed with good things. I am not saying I never had to work and always had lots of money like some folks we all know. I work hard and money doesn't fall from the skies. But I must say that whenever the situation was getting tough, opportunities presented themselves and everything turned out OK in the end.

So, why - you may ask - why do I think it will all be over by the time I reach my 50's? This is a tricky one to answer... I guess because by the time I am 50-something, I will have lived all the adventure I could possibly want and learned things I had to learn. Of course this is my own thinking, God might have other plans laid out for me. But bear with me and follow my line of thinking. My son is almost 6 now; another 15 years and he'll be a fully grown man, graduated or about to and making his own decisions in life. If I live to see him well established in life (I do not mean established as in "rich", but just on his own path) I will be happy.

What else then? I have loved. My first wife was, perhaps, my first true love. After that, it was J who I loved and devoted myself entirely to for the years following my divorce. I had great sex. I traveled like I wanted. And if I am lucky, these next few years will be just great (I’m still contemplating the possibility of relocating to Scandinavia). What else can I expect of life? If I happen to love again, how strong can this new love be and how long can it last? Will it be so powerful that it will make me want to live forever? Yeah, because living forever has to be about loving someone. I certainly do not expect to live forever just for me or for money or for sex or for whatever other reason. Live just for living? Living has to have a meaning and I truly believe it is to be devoted to someone else...