Time to update my Blog… Lots have happened in these past few days. So much I haven’t been able to sit down and write about it. But I have to try to keep thing current as I found out that I indeed have an audience. Yeah, that’s true! I found out I am not the only one reading my own thoughts here! Ha!

After Kwan’s departure I was feeling rather empty and lost. I needed time to sort out the feelings and the situation. I am still unsure of what to do, but I am learning to take it slow. After all, there is no rush. Right now I am just analyzing all the things that are happening. And I am starting to see things I did not see before. Small things, vero, but things I do regard as important.

For example, Kwan was going to go back to Chiang Mai on Tuesday morning. That was the plan. Then on Tuesday evening she sent me this lovely SMS saying she wanted to be with me and follow me everywhere I went. So cute… I called her and she said she would even drop out from school to be with me. I didn’t quite know what to say. Though I thought it was very sweet and a sign of true commitment, droping out of university is definitely out of the question. Besides, she’s on her last year. So I told her we would talk about it some other time. I felt that warm loving feeling again. The same feeling I had when she was around for the weekend. So far so good, right? Yeah, so I thought too…

Thursday she sent me another message saying she missed me, so I called. She said she wanted to see me and much to my surprise she was STILL in Bangkok. I thought “Wow! Great!” So I told her to come to the hotel and we would go out together! She said she didn’t know the address. I gave it to her. She said she did not understand very well and was afraid to get lost. So I told her to call my Thai friend, Bung, and he would explain to her how to go about it. She called him, he called me, I called her. Then she said she couldn’t come but would wait for me in CNX for the weekend. I agreed.

But, hey, wait a minute!!! Wait a @#$% minute!!! She was leaving on Tuesday; Calls me on Thursday to say she is still in Bangkok and cannot come and see me? And I have to go to Chiang Mai??? She is Thai, for goodness sake! If I can get around and even go to Chiang Mai, can’t she get a taxi in Bangkok and give directions??? I gave up the idea of going to Chiang Mai. I like her a lot, I really do, but this wasn’t a nice move from her. She’ll drop school for me but not get on a taxi??? Ok, lock me up at the funny farm; but I don’t get it and it doesn’t sound right. No more Mr. Nice Guy…

Tonight I met Yo again. We have been having lots of fun these last few days. She is really sweet. She calls me up on my mobile, asks me how I am, invites me for lunch, and teaches me some Thai. Very kind indeed. The poor thing works very hard. Two jobs. Sleeps only 4 hours per night. Last time we were together, yesterday actually, I told her I wanted to give her a present. We were at the shopping mall so I told her she could choose something she needed and I would buy for her as a gift. I showed her some stores offering nice clothes with a big discount. Showed her some shoes. Then some purses. She didn’t want any of those. She said she was going to visit her parents and siblings today, so she took me to the supermarket, filled a cart with small things like shampoo for kids, sanitary napkins, dried food, toilet paper… things you would buy in your monthly visit to the market, and THAT was what she wanted as a gift. The total amount was below 1,600 Baht (less than 50 Singapore Dollars). Now, that was touching…

So, we met again tonight and she looked beautiful in a red dress (Chinese New Year kind of dressing). I noticed, though, she had sad eyes and was really drinking a lot. That got me concerned and sad too. Her life is not very easy, I know… She probably missed family or maybe a loved one. I was sorry to see her drinking so much. She wasn’t drunk or anything, just drinking. But I felt sorry just the same. In a world with 6 billion people, it is unbelievable but true: sometimes we do feel lonely…

In the morning I managed to chat with MMP, my teenage-years sweetheart. We got into a video chat (NetMeeting thingy) and she looked very beautiful and sexy. She said she woke up in the middle of the night thinking of me, so she connected the internet and there I was. It was 4 am in Brasil but she did not return to sleep. We kept chatting until it was time for her to get ready for work. She wants me to go to Brazil too. I have so many people to visit, oh Lord… (sighs) It’s time I really start planning.